


Of Cons and Confessions

by Arbryna



Category: The Guild
Genre: Banter, F/F, Fluff, Mild Language
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-12-08
Updated: 2011-12-08
Packaged: 2017-10-27 02:05:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,056
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/290467
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Arbryna/pseuds/Arbryna
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Codex comes to some realizations about herself, and it turns out they're not quite as private as she thought.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

_Back home at last. It's nice being able to raid from the safety and security of my own apartment. Plus I'm just really glad I'm not stuck in Vork's creepy van anymore. If I had to hear another word about him and that woman from_ Time Rings _I would have -_

 _Guh. Just threw up in my mouth a little. Seriously, Vork was the one lecturing_ me _about being a slave to biology, and now he's going on and on about his wild night with some aging actress and, okay, that's just gross. Thinking about something else now._

 _So, I have a job. It's super awesome and I'm really excited about it, even if I'm not really sure what I'm gonna be doing yet. Floyd said something about consulting, and liaisons, and he's just a really confusing person to talk to. But...I have a job! Yay._

***

“And that's when Madeline said -”

“Vork, seriously, if you don't shut up about your creepy celebrity sexcapades I'm gonna hurl all over the back of your van!” Bladezz exclaimed.

“You're just jealous you didn't get any of your own,” Tink said drily, her eyes never leaving the screen of her iPad.

“As if,” Bladezz retorted, crossing his arms defensively over his chest. “Celebrities are _so_ lame. I spent three hours at that damn party listening to famous people talk about dog parks, and roofing, and - and gross skin conditions!”

“Skin conditions aren't anything to laugh about, Bladezz,” Clara said, tearing open a package of Twinkies. “This pregnancy is making my boobs _really_ itchy.” The blonde idly scratched at her chest as she started munching on the snack cake.

“Um, okay, ew.” Codex said after an awkward silence. She turned to Bladezz. “See, Bladezz, what you have to realize is that famous people are still people too,” she explained with a lopsided smile. “I mean, I think it's kinda nifty that -”

“Screw that!” Bladezz scoffed. “Celebrities are supposed to do _cool_ stuff, like have hot tub parties and bang strippers. My world is freaking shattered. Even that chick from Buffy was going on about spirulina or some shit.”

“Actually, I heard that spirulina is really good for-” Codex started, then stopped when she processed what he'd just said. “Wait, which chick from Buffy?”

“The smokin hot one with all the leather,” Bladezz replied with a groan. “This con totally crit-fireballed my wank bank.”

“Wait, you mean Faith?” Codex asked excitedly. “You met Eliza Dushku? Like seriously? What was she like?”

Bladezz glared. “I just _told_ you. _Lame_.”

“But- but she's so hot,” Codex said, blushing a little. “I mean, she's totally on my list.”

Tink looked up from her game, narrowing her eyes suspiciously. “Wait, she's on your list too?”

“Ooh, I love lists!” Clara gushed, before scrunching her eyebrows in confusion. “What list?”

Codex faltered, looking around nervously. “You know, my five people I'm allowed to have sex with, even if I'm in a relationship.”

“Oooh- wait, only five?” Clara looked at her hands, counting off silently on her fingers.

“So who else is on your totally not-gay list, Codex?” Tink asked with an unreadable expression on her face.

Codex cursed her fair skin as she blushed harder. She took a deep breath. “Well, I already told you Angelina,” she started, staunchly avoiding Tink's piercing gaze.

“Oh, she's totally on my list too,” Clara interjected, giving up on counting and pulling out her cell phone.

“And Alan Rickman-”

“Wait, _Snape_ is on your list? Uber gross, man.” Bladezz recoiled in disgust.

“He's dark and broody!” Codex protested. “And accents are sexy.”

“Yeah, I'm actually gonna have to go with Bladezz on this one,” Tink said, shuddering at the very idea. “He's old and greasy.”

Codex shifted in her seat, trying to ignore their negativity. “And Wakka, from Final Fantasy X.”

“Dude, it's Final Fantasy _Ten_ ,” Bladezz said derisively. “Roman numerals much? Don't be such a newb.”

Codex opened her mouth to protest, but Tink beat her to the punch.

“A video game character?” She shook her head in disbelief. “A world full of hot guys and you choose a guy with pixelated abs?”

“They're nice abs,” Codex said. “And he's a really great guy!”

“You're supposed to want to have sex with these people, Codex, not _snuggle_ them,” Tink said with a shiver. “Besides, he's a ginger with a tan. It's wrong on so many levels.”

“Well it's my list,” Codex said defensively, crossing her arms over her chest. “I can have whoever I want on it.”

“Whatever,” Tink said. “That's four. Who's your last one?”

Codex swallowed, shifting nervously again. “Tabrett Bethell,” she said reluctantly.

Tink scrunched her nose. “Who's he?”

“Um...this really hot two-weapon fighter, from Legend of the Seeker,” Codex replied, the words coming out in a rush. “You've probably never heard of it.”

“Dude, that show had epic boobage,” Bladezz said, leering. “Hot chicks and violence: hellz. Yes. Spank me, I've been naughty.”

“Oh, I love that show!” Clara exclaimed with a dreamy look in her eyes. “I _so_ wanted to be one of those hot dominatrixes in red leather. Wait, which one did your guy play?”

Codex groaned inwardly – she'd _so_ been hoping no one would ask that. “Um...the blonde one?”

There was a brief pause, in which they could almost hear Clara's brain trying to work, then she nodded approvingly. “Mmm, I'd totally do her too. But I was all about the main guy's abs - like, why did they ever make him put a shirt on when he looks so good with it off?”

Codex glanced over at Tink, hoping the other girl had missed that first part. Tink's eyebrows scrunched together as she processed what Clara had said.

Meanwhile, Clara was still going. “I was soooo jealous when that one chick got to touch his nipples-”

“Wait,” Tink said, holding up her hand to stop Clara mid-sentence. “So, three out of your five people are chicks? Wow, Codex, congratulations. You're a total lez.”

“I am not!” Codex said. “It's not even a real list, anyway. It's not like I'll ever get the chance to actually have sex with these people.”

Bladezz leered at her. “Dude, you're totally gay. When you get a girlfriend, can I watch you have kinky lesbionic sex?”

“Wait, Codex is gay?” Zaboo asked groggily. He'd been sleeping in the front passenger seat, still recovering from his massive weekend-long stimulant binge.

“Wow,” Clara said, getting a contemplative look on her face. “That would explain why you and Zaboo didn't work out – hey, did you guys ever kiss? I forget.”

Codex groaned, dropping her head into her hands. This was _not_ happening.

***

 _Why couldn't I just lie about my list? Curse you, eternal need to be honest!_

 _It's not like I haven't thought about it. I mean, hello – your dad comes out when you're 22, and none of your relationships with guys have worked out, who's not gonna consider it? Not that it's genetic, or anything like that-_

 _But, I mean, I've never thought about girls that way. I didn't feel anything for that one chick I accidentally went out with. And, sure, I like to dress up my avatar in skimpier outfits than I'd ever wear in real life, but that's the game. It's supposed to be me – it's not gay if you're checking out yourself, right?_

 _Of course then there was Riley and that awkward back-rub – which, okay, made my stomach do all kinds of flips and stuff. But it does that all the time. Really. This one time in tenth grade, I had to do a presentation on Fahrenheit 451, and even though I had totally prepared – seriously, I had like a laminated visual aid, and little post-it flags marking choice excerpts, all red and yellow and orange, to symbolize the book going up in flames. It was very professional, if I do say so myself. Anyway, when the teacher called on me, the idea of speaking in front of the class made me so nauseous I threw up all over my desk._

 _Where was I going with that again? Oh yeah. I'm totally not gay._

***

Codex was trying her best to melt into the fake wood paneling in Vork's van. Thankfully, her fellow guildies had short attention spans, and had given up on harassing her for the time being.

Bladezz was just now noticing the seemingly endless supply of snacks Clara kept digging out of her purse. “Clara! Is that all from the hotel mini-bar?”

“Maybe,” Clara said innocently, shoving a handful of cashews into her mouth. “What? Didn't you work out some sort of deal with that lady about our room? It's already paid for.”

“Whatever,” he huffed, rolling his eyes. “Zaboo, get the hell out of the front seat. It's my turn.”

After some awkward maneuvering, Zaboo plopped down into the seat across the table from Codex.

“You know, it's totally alright if you're a lesbian,” he said. “It would actually explain a lot. Like the total lack of spark when we kissed, or how my man-sweat didn't turn your knees to jelly. Heh. Jelly'd.”

Codex sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose between her thumb and forefinger. “Zaboo, I'm not a lesbian. Did you completely miss that whole drama where I had sex with Fawkes, potentially jeopardizing the harmony of the guild?”

“Sure, Codex,” Zaboo said indulgently. “I get that it's something you have to accept in your own time. I'm just saying, you know, he did wear a skirt.”

“It was a kilt!” Codex protested. “Traditionally worn by _men_. They're sexy, and- and masculine."

“Mmm, I have to agree with Codex on this one, Zaboo,” Clara chimed in, tossing the empty cashew bag aside and turning back to her phone. “Kilts are totally sexy.”

Zaboo nodded. “Okay. But if you ever want to talk about it, I'm here for you. 'Cause we're totally best buds. Hey, I could be your fag hag! Only, like, the lesbian equivalent. Heh – lesbro'd. Oh, and if we go to the con again next year, I'll totally go to the 'Hot Girls From Other Worlds' panel with you.”

Codex groaned in frustration, throwing her hands up. “How many times do I have to say it? I'm _not_ gay. I don't like girls. Tink is just harassing me because I forced her to interact openly and honestly with her family, and now everyone knows her real name is April Lou, and she wants to get back at me.”

Tink looked up from her computer just long enough to glare in Codex's direction.

***

 _But that doesn't really ring true. She was_ happy _that I set up that meeting with her family. At least, she said she was. She even hugged me! Heh. That was nice. Tink is so hard to read sometimes. Or, all the time, really. Except when she's pissed off._

 _Wait, why am I thinking about Tink so much? Was our drunken pretend-lip-lock really that big a deal? I mean, sure, it was weird that even with Bladezz right there, her first thought was to pretend to make out with_ me _. But that just means she'd rather make out with me than with Bladezz. Or...pretend to. I'd really be the safer bet, cause Bladezz would totally try to take advantage of the situation to_ actually _make out with her, and probably grope her, so it probably just means that Tink trusts me more. Which, given the choice between me and Bladezz, seems kind of obvious._

 _I'll admit, when I thought that we had actually made out, it didn't like...repulse me or anything. I mean, Tink is really pretty. If I were going to engage in some cliched drunken lesbian experimentation, it wouldn't be terrible to do it with her. Not that I plan on doing anything like that. Ever._

 _I'm not drunk now, though. So why does the thought of making out with Tink make me feel all lightheaded, like I'm about to have a panic attack?_

***

“I like guys,” Codex insisted. She'd managed to wrestle Bladezz out of the front seat, and was currently talking Vork's ear off. “I like goatees, and Old Spice, and- and chest hair! Okay, no, chest hair is kinda gross, but-”

“I am entirely uncomfortable with the direction of this conversation,” Vork said, staring blankly out the windshield.

“Sorry,” Codex said, her face scrunching nervously. “Just...if I were into girls, in _that_ way, wouldn't I have had some sort of clue by now?”

“There are hundreds of species for which homosexual behavior is perfectly normal,” Vork intoned. “From what I've gathered, humans are one of them.”

“Um, thanks Vork, but that's not really-”

“I would not blame you in the least if you succumbed to the elegant beauty of the female form, Codex. I admit that I very recently re-evaluated my own feelings regarding the act of copulation. It can be a very enjoyable recreational activity, even without the biological imperative to further the species.”

“Okay, ew,” Codex said with a shudder, turning back to the rest of her friends. “Who wants the front seat?”

***

 _Is it possible that I've gone my entire adult life thinking I'm completely straight, just because I haven't met the right girl? God, that sounds like such a cliché._

 _But if it's true...does that mean that_ Tink _is the right girl? She doesn't even like girls – at least, I don't think she does. I don't think she really likes anyone._

 _Ugh. I'm just...so confused._

***

 _”Um, Codex?”_

Codex stared in horror at her gaming headset. There should not be a voice coming from that. Especially not Tink's voice. Gingerly, she reached for the device, holding it out like it was a snake ready to bite her.

 _”You forgot to log out.”_


	2. Chapter 2

_So, Tink logged off last night like right after she told me that I hadn't, so I didn't even get a chance to try to explain. Not that I would have known what to say, I mean, it's not every day that the girl you're crushing on hears you rambling about crushing on her- Oh, wow. Okay. So I guess I am a little bit gay?_

 _Anyway, that's not the point. The point is that she logged off, so I couldn't even try to awkwardly backpedal and take back everything I said. I guess I could call her- oh, god, that's terrifying. Why is there such a huge difference between calling someone on the phone and voice chat online?_

 _Oh, I know. I'll text her. Subtle, unobtrusive – damn you, character limits! That's okay, it'll just be a couple of texts instead of one._

 _Okay, sent. Now I just have to wait. Ugh, I hate this part._

***

“Thanks for coming over, Zaboo,” Codex said, letting him walk past her before closing the door. She'd finally given in and called him; out of all of her fellow guildies, he was the least likely to mock her, or announce her personal drama to everyone on the internet – not that she didn't do that brilliantly all by herself last night.

"Oh, it's no problem,” Zaboo replied, flopping down onto the couch and propping his feet on the coffee table. “Vork was Skypeing with that _Time Rings_ chick and it was getting pretty graphic in a totally gross way." He shuddered. “Anyway, what can I do for you, oh bestest buddy of mine?"

Codex groaned, sinking down onto the opposite end of the couch. “I messed up."

"Oh, you mean your tell-all lesbian confessions via guild chat?"

"How do you know about that?” Codex asked, eyes wide. She leaned over to grab his arm. “Did Tink tell you? Have you talked to her? What did she say?"

"Whoa, Codex,” Zaboo said, prying her fingers off his arm. “Calm down. I haven't talked to Tink."

Codex frowned, her eyebrows furrowed in confusion. "Well, then how-"

"Back when all that stuff with Fawkes happened, I started logging in as invisible, to try to get some insight into how to best be your friend,” he explained, smiling proudly. “I was totally lurking."

"Oh,” Codex said. “Wait - you can't log into guild chat as invisible."

"You can if you hack into the Game servers and reconfigure your account permissions,” he said smugly. “Hack'd."

"Wow, that's...creepy,” Codex said, after an awkward pause. Shaking her head to clear it, she looked at Zaboo imploringly. “So what do I do?"

Zaboo shrugged. "Well, she totally heard you. I mean, it's not like you can control-z it."

Codex groaned, covering her face with her hands as she collapsed back into the couch. "This is horrible! We just averted a major disaster with The Game, and the guild really came together as a team, and then I have to go and destroy our new-found togetherness with my stupid mouth. How could I forget to log out?"

Resting his hand on her knee, Zaboo gave her a supportive smile. "Have you tried talking to her?"

"I texted her, like, hours ago,” Codex replied, her hands sliding down to drop into her lap as she turned to look at him. “No response."

"Well you know where her dorm is,” Zaboo offered. “Just go and talk to her, mano-a-mano - er, womano-a-womano. Face to face'd."

Codex stared at him with wide eyes. "In person?"

***

 _Not that I'm a coward or anything, but the thought of instigating personal confrontation kinda terrifies me. I mean, no screen or wires or anything between you, being able to instantly see the person's reaction to what you're saying? I'd much rather give someone time to think about their reaction before having it be right there in my face._

 _Wow, that's kinda messed up. I mean, I basically just said that I'd rather give someone a chance to lie to me than have to see their honest reaction. Huh._

 _Okay, so I'm a coward. But Zaboo was right – I mean, I clearly wasn't doing well with the whole "wait for her to reply" thing. The responsible, adult thing to do was to face my problems head on._

***

Codex blinked, startled when the door to Tink's dorm was flung open by a bubbly looking blonde girl. Codex smiled brightly, fidgeting with the front pockets of her jeans. “Um, hi, I'm a friend of Tink- I mean, April's? I don't really know what she'd have her roommates call her.”

The blonde looked back at her in surprise. “She has friends?”

“Yeah,” Codex said slowly, frowning a little as she peeked past the girl's shoulders. “Is she here?”

“Your guess is as good as ours,” a dark-skinned girl called out from where she was lounging on the couch. “We never really know if she's here or not.”

“Except when we hear all kinds of yelling and swearing coming from her room,” the blonde continued, rolling her eyes.

“Or when she's bitching about us to the RA,” the girl on the couch added, looking back at her magazine.

Suddenly a door to one of the bedrooms swung open, and Tink stormed out, offering each roommate a withering glare. Codex barely had time to remember to be nervous before Tink grabbed her wrist and dragged Codex into her room.

"Wow, your room is so...colorful," Codex said, looking around at the variety of brightly colored posters adorning the walls, and the pile of stuffed animals on the bed. Then she had to look away from the bed, because her mind was going places that were _really_ inconvenient at the moment.

Tink slammed the door behind her, crossing her arms over her chest. "What are you doing here, Codex?"

Codex turned to look at Tink – or, more accurately, at Tink's feet – as she fidgeted with her belt loops. "You didn't answer my texts."

"What, like all twelve of them? I was in class."

"Oh,” Codex said, inwardly kicking herself for being so impatient. And for maybe rambling a little too long - like, excessive usage charges long. “I hadn't thought about that."

Tink shrugged. "Yeah, well, I just got home, so..."

An awkward silence settled over the room as Tink trailed off. Codex shifted awkwardly on her feet, finally daring to look up at the other girl's face. Tink looked almost...nervous? Codex shook her head slightly; that couldn't be right.

Taking a deep breath, Codex tried to collect her thoughts. “Look, Tink, I really wanted to apologize for last night. You weren't supposed to hear that - no one was, really, and it - it didn't really mean anything, I was just rambling to my webcam-"

"It's fine. Just forget it happened," Tink replied, looking away from Codex. Her expression was off – it almost looked like she was disappointed.

"I just- I feel like we were getting to be really good friends,” Codex continued. Maybe if she kept talking she'd eventually find the right thing to say. “And I don't want this to get in the way of that. I mean, I'm no stranger to having unrequited feelings for people- I'm not saying that I have feelings for you, I don't really know what's going on in my head right now. Not that I wouldn't have feelings for you. It's not like there would be anything wrong with that, except for the whole awkward unrequited thing-"

One minute, Tink was shaking her head, with an amused almost-smile on her lips. The next thing Codex knew, Tink was kissing her.

***

 _I've been kissed before, plenty of times. I mean, always by guys, but still. Not that I didn't like kissing guys, just- this was different. It wasn't the epic, passionate kiss that you'd expect to see at the thrilling climax of a romantic blockbuster or something. It was hesitant, and soft, and kinda dry, actually, but not in a bad way, just in a way that I didn't really have time to moisten my lips or anything. It was...nice._

 _Wait, I'm not logged in, right? Oh, okay, good._

***

When the kiss ended, Codex could feel the dopey smile threatening to take over her face. Tink's hand had somehow found its way to the side of her face, and soft fingertips dragged down the side of Codex's neck as Tink slowly pulled away. Codex shivered.

“Wow,” Codex breathed. “Okay, now I get the whole spark thing.”

Tink chewed on the inside of her lip, looking down away from Codex's face. She had that nervous look again – the one that looked really out of place. "I don't really do this."

"Make out with girls?” Codex joked, feeling her heart pounding in her chest. “'Cause I generally don't either."

"More like dating in general,” Tink said, crossing her arms over her chest.

"Oh. Dating,” Codex said, as if the thought had just occurred to her. “Are we - do you want to be dating? I mean, we were kissing, and that is sometimes accompanied by dating, but-"

Tink sighed, causing Codex to stop mid-sentence. "Look, Codex. You might have noticed that I'm not the friendliest person in the world."

"You can be kinda mean sometimes, yeah,” Codex admitted with an apologetic shrug.

"The thing is, there's something about you that makes me want to be nice," Tink said grudgingly, still avoiding eye contact. "Which, frankly, creeps me out, but there it is."

Codex was, for once, speechless. "Oh,” she managed, eyes wide.

"I'm not saying I wanna hold hands and write our names in little hearts in my notebook," Tink said with a pointed look, finally meeting Codex's eyes. "But I wouldn't be opposed to spending more time with you outside the game."

"Oh," Codex said again, blushing giddily. "Me neither. I mean, I wouldn't mind spending time with you, not me; I spend enough time with myself. Would this time-spending involve more kissing? 'Cause that was actually kinda nice-"

Tink reached out to grip Codex's shoulders; Codex wasn't sure if she stopped talking because of the movement, or because Tink's hands were really warm and the contact made her think about kissing Tink again.

"Has anyone ever told you that you talk too much?" Tink asked with a bemused smile.

"All the time,” Codex replied nervously, her eyes pretty much fixed on Tink's lips. “My therapist used to bill me for two sessions at a time-"

"Codex? Shut up."

Then Tink was kissing her again, and Codex didn't really feel like talking anymore.

_end._


End file.
